It’s nearly Valentine’s Day, a holiday I hate, even when I’m in a committed relationship. When I’m single, it reminds me that I’m single; when I’m in a relationship, it all feels so cheesy and fake, and plus, to me, every day is Valentine’s Day – the way I treat my man on February 14 and the way he treats me should be no different than the way we are to each other on February 15. I celebrate love every day, not just on this stupid holiday.
Meghan Markle was my age (33) on Valentine’s Day 2015. Though supposedly in a relationship with famous chef Cory Vitiello at the time, she wrote a post called “Be Your Own Valentine” on her now defunct blog, The Tig, that sounds an awful lot like she’s single. I’m posting it in full because I love it.
Happy Valentine’s Day from The Duchess Commentary – I guess. *Insert eye roll emoji here*
“It’s funny how a Hallmark holiday can bring up so many feelings for people – ebbing and flowing from the lovey dovey to the lonesome. But Valentine’s Day, with its tales of Cupid and swan song of chocolates and roses and saccharine sweetheart candies, does just that. It’s a strangely divisive one. Where couples are cuddled up and singletons see their requisite froyo as a cup of lonely. But it doesn’t need to be.
I think you need to be your own Valentine.
I think you need to cook that beautiful dinner even when it’s just you, wear your favorite outfit, buy yourself some flowers, and celebrate the self-love that often gets muddled when we focus on what we don’t have.
Last season I was chatting with my Suits sister wives, Sarah and Gina, and was in some sort of funk, bemoaning something that was so futile I don’t even remember what it was now. But I was faaaaaar from showing the self-love.
One of them stopped me – truth be told I can’t remember which one because they both impart their sage wisdom with me on the daily – but one of the stylish wise ones stopped me and said,‘Hey! That’s my friend you’re talking about. Be nice to her.’
They were protecting me from myself. From my own criticism, and my own self-doubt. They were reminding me to treat myself as well as I treat those closest to me. To be my own Valentine.
This Valentine’s Day I will be with friends, running amok through the streets of New York, likely imbibing some cocktail that’s oddly pink, and jumping over icy mounds in my new shoes through the salted snowy streets of the West Village.
But those shoes, by the way, were my gift to myself. Because I’ve worked hard, because I’m not going to wait for someone to buy me the things I covet (nor do I want to), and because I want to treat myself as well as I treat those dearest to me. Because I am my own funny Valentine.
So whether you have a special someone, you’ll be with friends, or you’ll be flying solo this Saturday (or any other day for that matter), be good to yourself. Love yourself, treat yourself, honor yourself, and celebrate you. Be your own beautiful, darling, cherished, and funny Valentine. You deserve it.”